Rest Assured

Posted by Ellen M. DuBois on Monday February 19, @12:38PM

All I could do was ask him, "Is that a pun?"

The day started like any other normal day for us. Phone calls, the dog tearing a piece of wallpaper off, not having enough creamer for my coffee; you know, one of those days. Maybe it was signal of what was to come.

I heard my fiance call me from the bedroom. "Ellen, come see this."

Oh boy, I thought, as I walked up the stairs. Usually when one hears that, it isn't good. So, with butterflies doing their dance in my stomach I went up to see what the 'thing' was that I was supposed to see.

"Feel this," my fiance said, as he had his hand on the side of the bed.

With a huge question mark blinking in my mind I went over to the bed to see what the heck he was talking about.

As I touched the side of the mattress, I discovered it was soaked. Now, we all get night sweats now and then, but this was a little too much for that.

Oh, no! My mind reeled. Don't panic, I said to myself. But, before I could open my mouth, my fiance was walking all around the bed feeling every conceivable part of it.

It had sprung a leak.

I joined him in his mission to find where the heck the water was coming from and the more we looked and felt the worse it got.

I threw the pillows off the bed, took the sheets off, (which were soaked underneath), and stripped it of its lovely antique quilt. (Thank God that didn't get wet).

We unzipped the pillow top to find that we had been sleeping on top of a pond.

One of the two king size "bladders" had sprung a leak and it was a biggie. Even with the liner serving as a sort of "diaper" in place, the water had managed to escape.

With heavy hearts we began the grueling chore of first, trying to isolate the leak, (which equated to finding a needle in a haystack), and second, figuring out what to do after we did find it.

After admitting that we probably never would find the darn leak, (although my fiance did try like the devil), we both knew the inevitable was fast approaching. It was getting late and we had to make a move.

We had to drain the bed. And then what?

After finding the drain kit and going back and forth about the way to do things, we began.

Our project took us until three in the morning to complete. I was so tired that I could have slept on a board of nails. It was Saturday night, no, actually Sunday morning when we finally laid upon the pillow top with nothing under us but a piece of foam and a boxspring.

I slept anyway.

Sunday came and off we went to the furniture store. Mobbed.

The large bedding department where he'd purchased the bed seven years prior had changed considerably. They'd decreased product lines and of course, we discovered that not only did they no longer carry what we needed, the manufacturer was OUT of business!

My fiance and I looked at each other in complete dismay. What did this mean? No replacement bladders? Did we have to buy a whole new bed? And, if we did, when the heck would we get it?

I, being the eternal optimist, said, "Don't worry, we'll find something."

My fiance looked at me as if to say, "Yeah, right."

I didn't blame him.

Well, we were referred to the "Bed Master" who'd been with them for years. I guess we were one of those 'special cases'. He got on the computer, took out a book, and found that we had an option. I mean, ONE option. There was a replacement bladder set for our bed, made by a different company that he'd never heard of. He couldn't make any promises as to it's quality, feel or longevity, but said that if we wanted anything, this was IT.

Was it in stock? I watched with baited breath as the Bed Master punched the keys on the computer.

Yes! I breathed a sigh of relief but could see the skepticism in my fiance's eyes. He'd been this route before and likes to at least see and feel what he's buying before whips out his wallet. I don't blame him. But, there wasn't a demo to be found. We were buying a dinosaur and just had to take our chances. It was either that or drive an hour and a half away to a specialty store on the CHANCE that they may have what we needed.

I looked at my fiance and said, "Let's just do it. We really don't have a choice."

He felt the same way, and although disappointed, went to the counter and paid for a product he knew nothing about sans what the salesman had told us.

The Bed Master looked at me and said, "Rest assured, this will be fine."

I couldn't help but look at him and say, "Was that a pun?"

Off to the pick up area we went. With tag in hand, we pulled our car up to the delivery dock where people were jamming living room sets into vans and waited for our small package.

When it finally arrived, my fiance went to the trunk of my car to examine the package the young man had brought out. He's a cautious man, and wanted to make sure that we were indeed getting what we'd paid for.

After several minutes of sitting in the front seat of the car, I knew something was wrong. I mean, how long can it take to look at a box?

It's a good thing he was cautious! Oh yes, we'd been given two bladders, but for a QUEEN SIZED BED! NOT A KING! The box said queen, the bladders said queen, but the inventory tag placed on the box by the furniture company said KING.

Holy smokes.

So, the young man went to the phone as my fiance looked at me with that look. It said, I told you this was going to be a pain the the behind.

He was right.

But, I had to be optimistic once again. I wasn't going to let this beat me! We'd get our king set, I just knew it!

Back comes the young man.

"I have good news, and bad news."

Oh no, I thought.

"I called the warehouse and they have the king set you need. We don't have it here, but if you can wait about twenty minutes or so the truck will bring it right over."

Okay, I thought. After all this, what the heck was twenty more minutes?

My fiance has a good tendency to think ahead. He asked the young man to call the warehouse and have them CHECK first to be certain it was a KING they were delivering, with all SKU's matching, before they came.

That's all we needed. If they'd delivered another mis-tagged box, I think we both would have flipped.

However, I tried to just roll with it as I got my cup of free hot chocolate and sipped. At least there was some kind of perk for waiting.

After sitting in my car for about twenty minutes and almost getting creamed by some woman who obviously didn't realize that you drive slowly in areas full of cars and people, the truck arrived.

Another young man approached the car with a box. A box literally TORN TO SHREDS. Now, if you're anything like my fiance, you like to be the one to open the box and you probably save the box as well -- just in case you need to return the product.

Well, this box looked like gerbil shavings wrapped in tape. I guess it was their way of checking.

We got over that and finally were on our way home to set up our bed.

I fantasized about what it would feel like to lay in the luxury of a comfortable bed once again.

As we spread our two new bladders on the floor, we both looked at each other in amazement.

Unlike our old bladders, which each had ONE filler hole, these each had THREE!

WHAT?

No instructions. Nothing. We hadn't a clue as to why there were six holes in total.

Did that mean we had to use all six? Were these bladders chambered? What was going on?

All we could do was try it. After opening all three on the first bladder, we began the tedious task of running the hose from the sink, (with an adaptor that didn't quite fit right), into the bladder. I watched carefully as he turned on the water.

"Stop!"

The entire bladder was filling and there were two open holes. We needed to cap them quickly!

Finally, after hours of filling and 'burping' our new bladders, I was able to make the bed.

My eyes were half open I was so exhausted and my fiance still had to fix the wallpaper that my wonderful dog, (whom I do love dearly), had torn off the wall.

Thank God I had t.v. dinners in the freezer!

With the bed made, we laid down.

It sounded like we were laying on top of a floating device in a pool!

Oh, no! We had no noise in our bed before!

As I watched my fiance move deliberately on the bed to see just how much noise it would make, I felt like crying. But, I didn't. I was too tired.

"Wait! I forgot to put on the mattress cover under the sheet! Maybe that'll help!"

I silently prayed it would as I stripped the bed I'd just made.

I'm happy to report that it made a big difference in the 'squish factor'. No longer did we feel like we were sleeping in a boat.

This morning I awoke feeling refreshed and happy that my fiance was able to sleep as well.

So, next time disaster strikes, "rest assured" that it'll all turn out right!