The Discovery of Self

It is about time we dug into our past and found out when we discovered ourselves...

As a young boy, I always wanted to be a musician. Guitar was, and still is, my favorite instrument. When I turned nine years old, I decided to "Just do it!"

In the crowded streets of India, my father took me to the door of the famous music school called "Dhwani," in Udaipur, Rajasthan. My dad knocked on the door and it was opened by a man in his mid-fifties. As it turned out, he was going to be my teacher, or in Indian terms, "Guru." Then my father left me with "Guruji," the teacher. The truth is that I have always loved to be independent. But at that point in time when I held the guitar in my hand for the first time, I wanted my father to be there with me.

Guruji played something on his guitar and I would have liked it if I was ninety years old. The tunes were "crap"; they were old and sounded so much "without rhythm." The guitar was not electric. It was plain, old and mad of wood. Hey, I did not want this stuff! I wanted speakers and boomers and woofers, and last but not the least, an electric guitar.

That day, Guruji let me play around with the guitar. Next day, he taught me the basics. Do, Re, Me, Fa..., I still remember that. I also remember that there was a possibility of me being bored to death. Guruji knew how I felt about his classes. He often told me that there is no shortcut to success. Distinct and clear, I heard him, no shortcuts to life, no day dreaming, no pain, no gain. But I was still going to give up.

I stopped coming to class the next week. Guruji called home and asked my mother to give the phone to me. I picked up the phone and I heard him breathe. Then I spoke, "Hello?" Guruji said, "Son, I understand that you won't be coming back here now." I did not say anything. He continued, "I hope you realize the truth. You can't climb to the top without taking the first step. Good bye and good luck." He hung up. I kept the receiver down and went to the window of my room. I had failed myself. My teacher knew I was a failure and now, I knew it too.

Life is not oriented by "Just do it." If I can not say that "I've done it each and every step of the way," then I have not done it. The fact was as true as it could be. I failed to take the first step, the first step of learning basic guitar. How could I play an electric guitar without knowing how to play the basic notes?

I have changed my image now. It is not about "Just do it" anymore. It is about doing it all the way and saying, "Just did it!" I do not try to take shortcuts anymore. I gain one hundred percent knowledge of whatever I learn. Well, maybe not one-hundred percent, but atleast ninety percent.

I still do not know how to play a guitar, but I know that not knowing how to play a guitar helped me create the individual in me: the individual who knows that if you do not know the notes, you can not play the guitar.