Roommates!

Smiles, cries, delight, sadness, and a couple of beers... we have all had roommates!!! "Dude, wake up!" I said to Manni as he snored. I spoke again, "Manni, Senela is on the phone for you!" Manni wakes up instantly. "Ha Ha, Gotcha!" I said. "Very funny, i'm going back to sleep" "No, you are not" "I paid my half of this month's rent, I did last week's laundry, and I leave the apartment when you come over with your girlfriend. I have been on my best behavior in months and yet i fail to understand... WHAT THE **** IS YOUR PROBLEM?!!!" "Dude, chill! look at this," I show him free passes to Six Flags Great Adventure. "Where did you get these?" Manni says. "I have sources." "Hope this has nothing to do with smokable organic matter" "**** it dude, why don't you ever trust me?" Manni just gives me a blank stare. Silence makes people speak the truth. "Alright, I know this friend who gave me these tickets in exchange for your Mukesh collection," I tell him the truth. Before Manni's sleepy brain can process the information it was just provided, i run for my life. "Give me a call on my cell phone. I'm going to work!"

I'm sitting at my desk when the phone rings. I pick up, "Thank you for calling Cartaret county college, this is Rahul speaking, how may I help you?" "hello... you... speak... spanish?" I say, "Uno momento," I put her on hold. "Anny, I've a spanish speaking woman on the phone, line 3432, could you please take care of her?" "Ok, i got it," Anny says. At noon, Manni calls me on my cell phone."Hey, whats up Manni?" "I'm mad at you Rahul. How can you just give away my collection to any piss drinker on this planet?" "Manni, relax, you burnt those CD's" "Well, shit head, i guess you are gonna burn new Mukesh CD's for me for the next two months now, wouldn't you?" I realized how mad Manni was at this point, "Ok, Manni, i'll do that." "Also, laundry for 3 months and phone bill for 2 months." "I guess i'll do that too." Manni says, "Great, see you tonight at Charlie's bar." He hangs up.

I'm waiting for Manni and Senela in the bar when this hot lady shows up and sits right next to me- A good opportunity, especially when your significant other is 3000 miles away (Yes, ladies, Men are pigs!) I say, "Hi, how are you tonight?" She says, "you... speak... spanish?" I say, "Como estas?" She says, "Muy bien, Gracias, y tu?" I say, "bien baby... uno momento" I speed dial anny on the phone. "Hi Rahul! how are you?" Anny says. "I'm good Anny, listen, i need your help" "Ok, i'm listening!" "You got free nights and weekends, right?" "yes, why?" "because i want you to translate for me" "What?" "Just translate whatever i say to you in spanish when i put a lady on the phone." "O...k" "Ok, say your eyes are like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket," I give the phone to the lady and she puts it on her ear... After a moment, she smiles. She says something to Anny on the phone and then she hands the phone to me. Anny says, "She wants you to come to her apartment." "Ok, Anny, thanks a lot! You are a wonderful friend! Good Night!!" I hang up before she can reply. I pay the bill and start walking out with the lady.

Ever heard of twist of fate?

As Manni, Selena and my girlfriend walk in, my feet freeze. "Honey, you are back!" "Yes I'm," she says. Manni says, "Senela, didn't we have to go to NYC to your cousin's tonight?" Senela says, "Yes, lets go. See you later guys." After they have left, my girlfriend says, "Well..."

Two hours later, i'm sitting on my couch watching Cheaters on pay per view. Manni walks in and says, "Surprising day, huh?" "Yeah" "If only you hadn't traded my Mukesh CD's... I would have told you about..." Before my slow brain can process the information, Manni runs for his life saying "If you need me, i'm at Senela's apartment!"