CrossRoads

Posted by Reluctant on Monday May 29, @05:20AM

Have you ever felt the reins of life slipping out of your hands. Thats exactly what i am feeling sitting in office giving blank stares at the screen of my PC.

Have you ever felt the reins of life slipping out of your hands. Thats exactly what i am feeling sitting in office giving blank stares at the screen of my PC. Feeling totally directionless, aimless and floating in the arms of this ruthless time.

I dont know where i lost all my confidence, self respect and zeal to do-something-in-life.

The life as it appears before me, is as dull as it really is. No false notions about it are now left in my mind. Slowly and slowly I have proved all my thinking patterns as wrong and have seemed to come to the conclusion that there is nothing worth doing in the lifetime.

How I sit, lonely, staring as if trying to tear out the facts from the monitor.

Life was quite fun for me in college days. I was in so called good college with the in thing, electronics engineering. When I entered the IT industry, I felt a start of new era and had lots of vigour and expectations from myself. As the time passed by, i realizesd that its not what i should be doing at all.

This seems to be only a race for money and more and more comforts. Life slowly becomes like a predefined process and you act as per your predefined roles.

What choices do you have after all : Go to US or Stocks or e-entrepreneur ????

What even if i am able to choose one of these? Big deal.

How I wish i could tear myself away from this phony corporate environment and these false pleasures of flesh.

I have started to hate my own being. I seem to have been defeated and lost everything in this life.

Sometimes I do sit and try to put all the broken pieces together and find out the answers to the problems i have. Its then I realize that i do know what I should do but only why i should do all this is what i have not been able to find out.

Now i believe that this is the way things will continue and i really can't do anything about it. Let myself float around for some more time and let things happen as they are happening.

Maybe someday i will know as why and how i should continue living.