Anonymous

The urge to write this particular expose transpired from a bleak comment written in reply to one of my comments that hit me asking me if I was hiding behind anonymity, and when I thought about it, I realized I was.

I have been writing for sometime now, and some of my initial writings have been so much of a personal statement that they made me try to veil myself behind some names that were nowhere near my own. Until I developed a habit of not using my name at all for anything that has been written by me. Because at no point can I say that this what I have written here is fiction, and this what I write is a personal statement. I don’t know how or where to draw the line between the two. While writing something, what I am, diffuses with the fictitious characters I create, and make a concoction that’s neither me nor an indescribable fabrication churning out of the blue.

Because what I write is consequent directly from what I see around myself, and how I see it. What I write of a young boy in love is what I think of the teenage admirers I have had. What I have written of a bitter old woman is simply the reproduction of what I have observed of my grandmas and of those of other friends I have seen. And all intermingles with how I extrapolate their little or bigger actions to make a pattern, that of thought, and a way of life. So it is essentially how I would think or be if those were my circumstances. And the result is a fiction that is tremendously autobiographical. And that is not something typical of me, but of each writer who picks up bits and pieces from the trivial custom of life to give an intertwined, sensible picture.

And that’s why each piece one writes becomes another insight into how he sees life and this world, until the writer is not very good at disguise.

And despite writing so publicly how I see this world, and the way I think, my own persona is something that I hold very very dear and protected. To let others know what I am makes me feel vulnerable, and so bare, that I have a desperate urge to run for cover and the cover I find in an anonymous name. And may be that” s the exact reason why we find so many names on the site borrowed from books and movies and elsewhere.Because despite having a natural urge for expression, and saying what we believe and think, all of us writers are definitely scared of revealing too much of ourselves’aren’t we?