Are you "siddharth chaturvedi" by ne chance

In the labyrinth of study and money i feel that somewhere i have lost myself and my friend.. .can this be of ne help ????

Sometimes I remember this friend of mine who has disappeared in the haze of all these walks of life.i can only remember him now,I wish I could c him sometime, but “how” is the name of the game.

Sometimes I felt that all that this buddy has done for me when I happened to need his help,I will pay back as and when the time comes.

Now we r so far away I guess no one of us think of the other at the time of trouble. But I think they r not the real signs of true friendship,Ne comments

He used to help me the days just before the exams when his eldies used to shout at him singing the same old clich’d "when will u study if he wastes ur time like this” it was only later that I realised he was more than just a bliss.

We studied together for two years and then he went to bombay. And I felt why all this grief has to come my way. When he left I decided that on one day when we meet we will write a new page in the history of this story.

Sorry the history teacher didn’t show up” TURN THE PAGE

But is that really feasible. when I don’t see him for years and suddenly one day when he calls me up to have a chat, so can I refuse to go on my other friend’s marriage who has been to my help in the later years, all the chics and food kept aside.

So am I being rude to him, or selfish, or a sycophant who creeps to any tree which offers shade

He has gone off to bombay and I have left Kota where we met in his house for the first time, and I know that if I call back at his place I just might get his address. If his parents are at all there..and they have any clue who I am. But then I don’t feel like doing that.AM I being miser of the kind that I can't give away few rupees for him

Or am I the weed who absorbs out of the other as and when the other had to offer something and then leave him for eternity.

I DON“T KNOW”..

But I still remember him, whenever I hear any ones name as Siddharth.

His face instantly flashes in my eyes. and I close my eyes and walk away. some day I want to bump on to him that way. and I even don’t want any more Siddharth’s in my life who would fade away the glory that this name means to me now.

M I being an obstinate wanker that way, who has grown old much before his time. or I'm taking it the easy way to let the wind take away all the cloves of my life.

I don’t want to make this page from my life emotional, 'cause I think that would not be the correct depiction of what I am but if somebody comes and whispers in my ears that we will never be able to meet each other I guess then rememberin all the good times that we have had earlier, my voice just may go off the road for once..

But the boyz don’t cry mind u!!!“.. where’s the tissue

AM I being an emotional moron who is unaware of the subtleties of life. or am I just trying to puke all my apprehensions as to who will teach me now before the exams.

I DON”T KNOW’’’. But I still remember him.

I say to myself that a good friendship is not about being with each other but feeling for each other, caring for each other, so will I ever be able to throw my life or my career for him if at all the siituation comes up that way, with the fact hovering that I am the only son of my parents and I am bound to a sphere.

So am I being just a loud mouth whose mouth opens more than his face and whose fart stinks more than a dead bitch“..

I DON”T KNOW

I think my parents preached me from day one that set ur priorities “beta”. and then “they” used to tell me how they exactly r. no one is to be blamed becoz on the other hand his parents preached him the same crap.

Think about taking urself higher in this struggle of climbing the mountain, take the name of ur family to new heights

And after years of my life i feel that is exactly what I'm living for..

Courtship, friendship , leadership, kept aside “I”, and then again “I” have to b a bigshot myself.

Again am I being a slefish maggot who eats for his own but would end up just one more to the devour of the bigger fish.

I don’t want that kinda end to my life “ excuse me

But when I take a walk thru' the gardens of my life I feel that the smell of ”I, me and myself“ fill my nostrils. i want to search a place where I can have fresh breath”

Some day I want to go over the mountains of success and fame that we all die to have and take a look at the other side to which river named “pleasure” flows

Who knows that river just might be flowing some where near my house where I can wash my face“Someday I want to cut all the ropes to which I'm tied and stretch myself so that I can search where my friend is”

I would like to meet him

Let every other thing kill for themselves, let me march to the drum of my heart's beat..let me piss on that mountain and fly high so that all the others may sigh

Let me kill all the social pests and be a man of my own“

Yes yes yes I want to meet my friend”.

but that way’“

let me think longer”.