Her Road

Her Road

Walking down the road, you tend to think so much.

You’re not supposed to, of course. You’re supposed to be on your guard for any drunk drivers anxious to kill you, or any black cats crossing your way. However, looking at the tough road below and the velvet sky above, your mind races like the prize-winning mare.

So did mine, walking down the road that day. It wasn’t just any road, or any day for that matter. It was “her” road, and perhaps the last time that I was walking on it. It was so familiar, as if it were a part of me. There was an exceptional feeling I was acquainted with, each time I came here. Even if it were just a few steps, it seemed like miles before I ended up standing anxiously in front of her house.

I do not know how many times my fingers caressed her doorbell, or how many walks we shared in the moonlight on this very road. It was the same road where I confessed my love to her by slipping a silver ring in her soft fair finger. Walking still, I could not help but turn around to look painfully, yet another time at her house. It was so enticing to go ring that doorbell again, and she would come out, looking like an angel making my whole life worthwhile.

But I couldn’t. Even if I wanted to. She didn’t want me anymore. Shivering with the chill of the winter, and the cold of her heart, I wished life didn’t happen to me. I couldn’t go further on. I wanted to sit there, on the hard, cruel road for the rest of my life, looking at the castle of my dreams, where my queen lived.

The stars burnt high above my head, the same ones that looked once like shimmering diamonds, their light falling on her face, making her look pretty as ever. In the chilly winter night, with soft snow all around, I couldn’t help but feel as cold inside, as it were outside. How will I live, how will I go on? My feet were stuck. I couldn’t move.

The wind became stronger, chillier. My throat began to dry up, parch. I stood there for more than an hour. And then, slowly I saw her balcony door opening. For a fragment of a second, I thought it was my imagination. It couldn’t be. She couldn’t come out in the open. Was she coming out to see me? To tell me, she loved me still? To run down this road once again, into my arms?

I didn’t know. As hope fluttered, I realized it was just a gust of wind. It was just my imagination. It was just the love that was still so strong deep within me.

But no, perhaps I was wrong after all. It was someone. Someone with long hair and a mystic figure. Someone who slipped slowly outside with a graceful walk. Someone I had loved so dearly, so truly. Yes, it was her! She loved me after all. She wanted me, just the way I was longing for her.

I was just about to run to her and ask her to be mine. But instead, I lost my balance and fell down. It was too cold for a man to be outside, let aside stand in the open for an hour. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to regain my balance, but in vain. I wanted to reach her. Touch her. Tell her I loved her.

I opened my mouth to call out for her, but my throat hurt. Nothing but whispers came out. I began to fight with myself frantically. She wanted me. And I couldn’t reach her.

Then suddenly a light hurt my eye. I saw a car approaching me. I tried to get up, but I could only manage to lie down on the wet road. I thought this would be the end of me. The car would drive right over me, and I would die. But it stopped.

Oh thank God he saw me, I thought.

A man, tall and masculine, stepped out. Loud music bleared from his vehicle. Instead of reaching for me, he headed the opposite way to her house. Her house? Who was this man? He stood at her porch for a moment, adjusted his hair, and rang the doorbell harshly.

Then suddenly she called out to him from her balcony and he looked at her. And smiled.She disappeared inside, only to return just moments later. She ran into his arms and said something I couldn’t hear. Then she moved back, looked at her hand, took the silver ring off her finger and threw it as far as she could.

They both laughed as they stepped into the car and with the blearing music overtaking the serenity again, they disappeared into the darkness of the night.

The road was still sheltering my helpless body. And I closed my eyes”