A Letter Not Posted - (4)

Few letters just don't find their place in the letter box...

Dear Santa,

As you may already know, tomorrow is Christmas.

Incase you’ve forgotten, here’s my letter to remind you.

And since I am reminding you, I deserve a great big present.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you that you look very pretty. My sister is always telling me you’re a man, and men are not pretty. But ever since I received my Christmas present last year, which was a jewellery set, I am sure you’re a woman. “Coz mom says men have no choice. And I thought the set was the most amazing thing in the whole wide world.

I ever made a picture of you wearing a nice floral dress, like the one I got on my birthday. You look very nice in that picture. I cannot show you because my friend tore it. She is very bad. You must not give her a present.

My sister says you are married to the tooth fairy (since she says you’re a man), so incase you know the tooth fairy anyway, just tell her that I did not get anything for the last two teeth I broke. And you must not give her a present too.

You know, we bought the biggest Christmas tree this year. And I helped put the most ornaments. I would’ve put more, but my sister pushed me hard and I fell down and bruised my knee. Come to think of it, you must not give her any presents too. She has been a bad girl this year.

I, on the other hand, have been on my best behavior. I have only kicked three boys this summer, and made the neatest crayon apple in class. My teachers say I am a good girl, most of the times anyway. So I should get a lot of presents.

So besides the one I am supposed to get, please also give me all those which belong to my friend, the tooth fairy and my stupid sister. Oh, and incase you’re wondering what to give me this year around” well, I would like a lot of nice dresses, like the ones my sister wears, and nice makeup, like what my mother has, and a whole sleigh-full of candy, and a Barbie, and anything else you would like to give me for being a good girl.

I know all this won’t fit in my stocking, so you can just place them under my bed. Nowhere else, NO! Because my sister will take it” and that’s not fair. I am placing this letter in my stocking, hoping you come real soon and give me all the presents, nicely wrapped. Oh, and also give me an autograph picture so that I can show my stupid sister that you’re after all a woman.

Merry Christmas, Me.