Marital Bliss

Marital Bliss

Often I wonder that even my daydreams are cluttered by pragmatism, which make me put an abrupt end to all that beautiful life I seem to possess while dreaming. For example, somebody I long to talk has called me up on my all to latest cellular gizmo

Its all right, till the time it’s just a call you are thinking, but it seems bizarre when you want to receive it on a gizmo envied by classes.

No daydreaming can be comparable to “pre-marital” dreaming of “post-marital” bliss and no kibitzer can scuttle you back from the virtuosity you attain while doing so. Phantasm soon gives away to the reality, as one starts establishing his path to a “blissful relationship”.

The scribe below is not about brimming to the gills, gaiety and goodness dream girl of mine, who will make my every morning filled with dozen more daydreams. But it’s about my skepticism, which very soon will built into a phobia and I just hope all those lovey-dovey yuppies will let go this insinuations.

Belonging to a Marwari family and culture, peer pressure for getting married started building on me as soon as I started earning, but thanks to my gullible service class folks who understood my compulsions of career and never really put down there knees to get me on the hooks.

The movement I finished my MBA and secured a job in Mumbai, credit goes to closely knitted family congress, I was up in the marriage market. One of the brightest and with a job in multinational, living in cockaigne called Mumbai. On the hindsight, everybody including the servants started asking my parents, “Shadi kab kar rahein hein aap apne chotte ladke ki”.

My folk’s never-once raised it on my face, knowing my previous agitation

It used to come to me from my elder brother who is happily married and “was” in agreement with all my philosophies, always repeating his favorite dialogue, particularly on this issue “ Everybody should get a chance to be independent and free of all responsibilities, atleast for some time”.

I was in awe of my bhaiya and bhabhi cause they used to read my thoughts, before any confrontation with Kakaji and Kakiji (my brother and me address our parents, when they are not around). Most of the time they use to agree and on other occasion they use to drift away the discussion from the brink.

Time flied, one and a half years of peace and cold-war, in which, I used to visit home once every two-three months, call them weekly, inform that I am fit and fine, doing good.

After a year and half of conveted MBA and unprecedented continuity of career, I was planning a job switch plus looking for modest 1BHK in distant suburbs of Mumbai (Till then I was either PG or living with friends in suburbs). Idea of taking up a flat, obviously on rent, also came from “Kakiji”, who wanted to come and join me for few days and continuously complained of her inability to visit her darling son. I never realized the conspiracy angle behind insisting on a bigger accommodation and like a na’ve gave into my mom’s desire to move in with me.

After finding a more suitable job inclusive of better perquisites and bigger package, I moved in a decent 1BHK, My mom moved in and helped me assemble basic amenities, irritated with Mumbai and my odd timings to come back, she resigned and went back. After about a month from my mom’s retreat, I received call from “Kakaji” and for the first time he breached the cold war and told me point blankly, “Tumhare liye ek rishta aaya he, ladki acchi he, hum mil chuke hein”. He paused, “details courier kar di he tumhe”.

That was fast, almost like getting fired when least expected. How could Kakaji do that to me? He should have atleast asked if I have a choice of my own, after all I am in Mumbai, and there are fair chances that I am in love with somebody (Although I am not in love and never dared to venture).

Not that my father was opposed to the idea of “love marriage”, he infact never objected to adventures of my numerous cousins and on one occasion spearheaded “love marriage”.

I called up my brother, immediately after receiving the call and to my dismay, he was cold, “ladki acchi lage to dekh le, nahi to mana kar dena”. Enough is enough, I vowed that I will never forgive my brother of ditching me at crucial stages of my career, I thought him as my best friend before he too joined opposition, that to without any preempt.

For me, the escape suggested by my brother was not full proof and will always have a danger of another such proposal, in which I will be traded of like a commodity. I decided on a compromise formula, in which I will ask for a time frame to weight the options.

I coveyed my desire to have a stipulated time for thinking and I believe they knew it beforehand and proposal was just a ploy to make me think about it. I wasn’t thinking, I was edgy, getting one proposal every fortnight all with unparalleled marwari pedigree and best trade prices.

I decided to explore my own options, among many options I would tell the first most “prevalent” in Mumbai and which also supported and coincided by my ambition of “immigrating” to one of the beautiful country in North America or Pacific.

So, what would I do, I figured out that I should find a girl (Minimum requirement),

Career Minded?

Who is on the similar stage of career like me earns the amount close to what I earn. (That’s not very high considering the MBA boom and packages of my friends).

Age?

Afcourse should be agreeable to my folks.

Looks?

I am not a Brad Pit.

Ambitions?

“well it changes with time and resources.

Nature?

(kakiji’s biggest issue) In my entire hostel life I haven’t found a person intolerable, infact all of them including girls visiting hostel were equally amusing and interesting

I am really oblivious to the fact about what people think of me.

Culture?

Adaptable (As I am planning to move out).

Following is the pros and cons of meticulous resume posted above (From now onwards we will call my would be as “She”).

Pros — With our cumulative income (She and me) and basic mathematics, I figured out that affording a 2BHK (If parents would like to join us), installment of car, basic goodies (still luxury in India) like fridge, TV, WM will not be a problem. If stretched, I can buy the envied Compaq machine, which I am aspiring since I have started living.

After all resources and comforts help in pursuing the goal, and I have lived too long without them. — I have been trying my best to accumulate some money so that I can fill up the form of immigration to atleast one of the desired destinations and start the process. Unfortunately I have been given a different project and now “evaluating feasibility of marriage and available options”. So, if she agrees (I hope to find the one who agrees) will fetch our way out of India and secure some bilateral support for pressurizing neighbors to stop terrorism and also to contribute to Indian economy in a big way.

“ Till now, I was planning to fill form in ”Single and General Skills” category. She being a highly literate will also help me out by adding some scores of her degree as well as experience and smoothen our way in all too competitive, confusing and point based immigration environment. I decided I can apply after Marriage in “Married Category”. — Finally if we reach there as DINK (Double income no kids), we sure can have helluva time, again I am extremely hopeful and assuming that Kakaji-Kakiji would not be proposing as to when I should have my own kids (My brothers case was not very good).

Personally, I don’t see a better option then this, accept she has some better idea for the welfare of India.

Cons

Five years of hostel life has untied a new talent in me and that is “cooking”. And I must tell you that my friends swear by my culinary skills which I think is next best to my dearest Kakiji and I sure specialize in presentation which will put “Sanjay Kapoor” to shame and make “Rasmi Uday Singh” go gaga over it.

Reasons for nourishing such a unmanly talent is my suffering with a mixture of Gujarati, Marathi, south Indian food culture of Mumbai topped by “Tandoori Maida Roti” which one has to disintegrate using both hands.

Possibility -1

If she not a cook she atleast should be bon vivant, if she is a cook which I don’t expect her to. She is in for lot of trouble. — I sure am not a MCP so I will perform my kitchen duty and help equally, which will grow into intervening and eventually I will have to overtake. This is nothing but a simple forecasting using a pilot survey done by visiting personally to all my married friends and finally admiring there wife’s cooking and lying my heart out. My research can not be doctored or biased because this are the same friends who just can’t resist cleaning plates after I treat them, and there can be only one factor which may influence there response is BOOZE.

Possibility II

And my other simple forecast going by above resume that she definitely wont fit into my all so religious, cultured, god fearing, business class typical marwari relatives excluding my parents. Any business analyst will agree to include case of their entrepreneurial skills in HBR.

“ I am sure I will be sidelined if there is no ”pallu“, outcasted if there is no ”saree“ and definitely debarred if there is a ”jeans”.

Day to day nitty-gritty in a marital bliss is not my concerned because I haven’t yet reached the equanimity to daydream accepting the above extraneous factor.I am still not willing to put this not-so-refined proposal Annexture with research to my folks including my brother.

Maximus still sitting on his project documents over the right option.