The Departure
(This article has been read 49 times)
Posted by Freak on Tuesday March 13, @06:18AM
Confessions of selfishness
February 17, 2001
I�ve completely lost myself. I�ve moved away from all the people I loved and I can see them standing on the shore, trying desperately to hang on to me and unable to do so. This feels like a flying saucer came down to earth and asked me to go with it and I promptly did. Without thought for those left behind. Suddenly realizing that I didn�t belong. That I had to be elsewhere.
And the feeling of emptiness remains. Absolutely no one connects, a complete communications breakdown. Passing through ether, and waiting to come onto the other side.
And for some strange reason this transition seems permanent - irreversible. Once you lose the humanness, there�s no coming back. Like death. Completely final.
And I�ve entered a new world - all unfamiliar faces. Lost souls. There are people here whom I had only read about in books that warn you against them. It�s like all your life you�ve been studying a species under the microscope, and suddenly you�ve become one of them. I still don�t understand why they do the things they do. Why they tick. The species was always un-understandable and by becoming one of them I have become un-understandable too. Alienated myself.
The butterfly turning into the caterpillar. Desperately feeding itself leaves, fattening itself and regressing so fast that very soon it will become an egg and fall off the mulberry leaf, to be swallowed by the mud. It will sink slowly till it ceases to exist. It�ll join the memories of all butterflies that could never learn to fly. Who cut others� wings too in the attempt. Those who took the life out of life. The truly evil. Those who need an UFO to leave cause their own
What stayed with you?
A line that lingered, a feeling, a disagreement. Great comments are as valuable as the original piece.
Responses4
Ultimately, it is the survival of the fittest. It is a selfish world and you have got to fend for yourself and if you have got to be selfish in doing so ... so be it! [ Reply to this ]
Gripping, real, raw emotion here. I enjoyed it; even if I did find it a little depressing. But, what I also got out of it was the journey of self that we're all on. And, no matter where you are, if you have ghosts, they follow you. I look forward to reading more of your work. I especially like the analogy of a butterfly turning back into a caterpillar. Ellen [ Reply to this ]
It happens so many times and at countless points in your life..when it becomes too difficult to contain yourself. But it takes a lot to express yourself in that time..it seems you have done a good job of it. [ Reply to this ]
There are times when trying to understand or find meaning out of circumstances or events fails. When yardsticks you measured yourself by cease to be enough, when you are so alone that you will cling even to shadows. When you feel you have sunk so low that nothing can will you back. People have risen, returned to life, to freedom, to happiness and love from times such as what you are going through. They have blundered on and refused to be swallowed by the mud, they have refused to let the pain they are going through affect their outlook on life. They have tried to lose themselves in the monotony of being until a new something comes along to nudge them on their way. Labor on little butterfly, the spring hath more tricks up it's sleeve than you imagine. [ Reply to this ] From Freak's desk 1 2 3 4 5 Total 1 ratings. Home | Post Article | General Musings | Slice Of Life | Humor | People | Wanderlust | Sports | Short Stories | Poetry | Book Reviews | eBooks | Devil's Dictionary | Rigmarole | Topic for the Week | Request for Comments | Writers Toolkit | Ask Our Experts | Borrowed Best | Quick Links | Feedback if ((navigator.appVersion.substring(0,1) '); } All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. Comments are owned by the Poster. The Rest ©2000 Live2Read var site="sm3l2r" None